OUR STORY

Having been sexually abused as a child by a relative, I was disheartened to learn how many women in my family had been sexually abused, not just by my perpetrator, but by many perpetrators, spanning generations of time. Abusers ran the gambit from grandfathers to husbands to co-workers to strangers. Unfortunately, the sexual abuse did not stop with me.

 

I made it my biggest job as a mother to ensure that this would never happen to my daughter but, despite the extraordinary measures I took, it still happened to her.  You can control a lot of variables in your child's life, but ultimately you cannot control what a stranger will do. Our family's journey to healing has been long and lonely and it's not over, but we have learned a lot along the way.  We have been blessed with generations of women who showed us the way and we want to pass that knowledge on.

Until now victims of sexual violence have felt unable to share their pain.  When some did share their pain, they have been silenced. The #MeToo Movement has been great for giving us all a voice, but we still need to work on speaking up about the after-effects and healing. Silence has prevented many victims from getting the help they need.  Some victims are unsure if they are really victims and those that do know feel damaged and disconnected from society. Many do not understand why they struggle and find it hard to manage their life going forward.

Our goal here at dearperp.org is to:

  • Raise awareness around the after-effects of sexual violence through victim stories

  • Provide a space where victims can find help, healing and community

  • Provide opportunities for research into the after-effects of sexual violence

  • Change the culture that tolerates sexual violence 

Sexual violence doesn't end when the violence stops, its affects continue for years to come.

We are breaking our silence.

OUR EXPERIENCE

We have a combined career experience of over twenty-five years, having held positions in large-scale software development companies as an engineer, a product manager and a program manager. Along with our passion for stopping sexual abuse, we have a deep passion for technology and data analytics, and have spent most our careers focused in these two areas.  We feel lucky and excited to be using our experience in a cause that we deeply care about. 

OUR MISSION

There are a lot of organizations doing great work in the sexual violence space.  We do not intend to duplicate their work in any way.  Therefore, as we state our mission here at dearperp.org, we will also highlight other companies where victims can find resources and help.

WHAT WE DO

Our mission is to break the silence on the after-effects of sexual violence by executing on our goals to:

  • Raise awareness around the after-effects of sexual violence through victim stories

  • Provide a space where victims can find help, healing and community

  • Provide opportunities for research into the after-effects of sexual violence

  • Change the culture that tolerates sexual violence 

By executing on our goals, we hope to:

  • Reduce sexual violence by showing the long term after-effects that victims live with the rest of their lives.

  • Change a culture that tolerates sexual violence through victim blaming and silencing to one where we place blame squarely on the perpetrator and allow victims to speak freely about their abuse.

  • Help victims find the healing they need by providing research opportunities around the after-effects of sexual violence.

WHAT WE DON'T DO

  • We are not a hotline, nor are we the experts in any type of sexual violence.  If you are currently being victimized and need help please contact the below organizations based on your needs:

For Sexual Assault

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673)

National Sexual Assault Online Chat: rainn.org

Download the RAINN app

All are available 24/7

For Sex Trafficking

National Human Trafficking Hotline:  888-373-7888 (TTY: 711)

SMS: 233733 (Text "HELP" or "INFO")

Website: humantraffickinghotline.org

All are available 24/7

For Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) (TTY: 1.800.787.3224)

National Domestic Violence Online Chat:  thehotline.org

All are available 24/7

  • We do not provide statistics on sexual violence.  We are only analyzing the after-effects of sexual violence.

For comprehensive statistics on sexual violence please head to RAINN at rainn.org.

  • None of our letter writers are available for speaking engagements.  Our writers are anonymous and desire privacy.  If you are seeking speakers for an event, we suggest contacting RAINN at rainn.org.  

  • We are not mental health experts!  We can only speak to our own experiences in seeking help for ourselves.  Our website is meant to help you find the help you need.  For more comprehensive mental health help, we recommend the following organizations:

National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI):  nami.org

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):  nimh.nih.gov

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